When it comes to film or TV adaptations of books, I’m a purist. The trailer of The Dark Is Rising had me punching the arm of my cinema seat with rage, and I’m still cross that the Harry Potter films didn’t tell the story of the Marauders.
Harry: “It’s my dad!”
Someone who hasn’t read the books: “What? How? What the hell?”
*builds a book fort*
*hides in the book fort*
*whispers very quietly so the other bookworms don’t hear*
…I kind of love this idea.
Jo, Meg, Beth and Amy in some kind of post-apocalyptic conspiracy thriller? That sounds hilarious. Like, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters levels of silly fun.
Imagine if this was Jo and Meg. Come on, it’d be great.
I have no idea whether the people behind this adaptation mean it seriously, but I have no intention of taking it as such. Even if it turns out to be completely po-faced and smug at its own ~*edginess*~, I’m going to sit there watching it and cackling at how ridiculous it all is.
The idea of a gritty reboot of Little-flippin’-Women has made me wonder what other classic stories would look like if they got the same treatment. Here are a few of the ideas I had:
Jane Marple: Bounty Hunter
She may look like a harmless old lady, but actually she’s a conventionally attractive twenty-year-old in a very clever disguise. You can run from the law, but you can’t run from Jane Marple – specifically, because she will shoot you in the hamstring and drag you back to justice. Unless you’re a chisel-jawed male villain, in which case she’ll have a torrid affair with you first.
Five Children and I.T.
Five kids accidentally create an incredibly powerful artificial intelligence at their school computer club. At first, they use I.T. to grant their every wish: winning every game, buying everything they ever could have wanted from Amazon… But soon, their dream becomes a nightmare as shadowy government agents track them down, and it becomes clear that I.T.’s motivations are more sinister than they initially seemed.
Alice’s Adventures Under a Poorly-Run Totalitarian Regime
Our heroine, Alice, is forced to enter the brutal Croquet Games by her land’s evil Queen of Hearts, who apparently feels that continually torturing her populace and making them hate her is a good way to prevent rebellion rather than, you know, encourage it. The title may need a little work.
(Just a note – I love The Hunger Games, I truly do. But I always get very annoyed with its government and the way they basically engineered their own destruction. Someone needed to tell them that Machiavelli’s The Prince was supposed to be satire).
Alice’s books are available on Amazon and Smashwords. Her webcomics, co-created and illustrated by Emily Brady, can be found at the Footloose website. Ally rambles about writing, feminism, and odd questions that cross her mind on Twitter and Facebook.